Good News! A lesson in Release
I was holding so tightly to the way I thought this had to happen. I started to think I had control over the outcome.
Podcast
Because of who you are
My worth and value does not lie in what I do but in who I am.
God’s Got It
We truly never know how God will use an idea and I need that powerful reminder when I get caught up in worrying and forget to just be.
No sense of direction
After leaving an awesome conference in Columbia, SC I planned to meet up with my husband and start our anniversary road trip.
My husband flew into Charleston.
I drove to pick him up…..in Charlotte.
So clearly not knowing where I’m going is something that crops up in many areas of my life. And yet it doesn’t stop me from driving around….
In my defense I was exhausted, the first 5 letters of both cities are the same, and they are both an hour and a half away from Columbia.
Thankfully my husband saw the humor in it (eventually) and we had an excellent vacation once I found him.
Trust me, I’m an excellent driver…..I just need to be pointed in the right direction.
Sometimes multiple times.
And maybe that’s what life is teaching me. All I need to do is create, and allow the idea to point me in the right direction.
Bootcamp wasn’t this hard…
At least with bootcamp there was a definite end in sight.
Giggles, Fits, Everything Else
While visiting a friend this week, it was time for her daughter to take a nap.
The child began to scream and cry because she wasn’t ready to take a nap, claimed she didn’t need one, and pleaded to stay up longer.
I was holding back a giggle because the very thing she was doing (throwing a fit) was a huge sign that she was indeed exhausted and needed a nap!
This got me started thinking about my reactions to all the setbacks, detours, and dead ends I’ve faced in life. How many times have I pitched a fit because things didn’t go my way, thereby proving I wasn’t ready for that thing in the first place?
More than I’d like to admit.
On a related note, last week I shared about our long road to becoming parents…and the fact that we’re still not there yet. (If you missed it, you can read it here.)
It was so helpful to hear that many of you are in the middle of waiting on something too.
God IS blessing you, even in the waiting,
The Weight of Waiting…
2003: I made a deal with God in an effort to secure my “happily ever after.”
It went a little something like this:
“Ok God, I’ve been through some pretty awful stuff. It’s helped me grow up a lot and you’ve graciously provided me with family and friends who love and accept me unconditionally. Thank you for getting me through. Now that we’ve got the hard stuff taken care of, I’d like the rest of my life to be smooth sailing. Got it?”
It seemed like things were on track too…I married a wonderful man, we have a beautiful house, I make music for a living…
You heard it, didn’t you? The inevitable but that’s coming…
We always knew we wanted to have children and started trying in 2011. We thought our dog Penny would be lonely once we were distracted by a baby so we adopted another dog, Shadow, to be a playmate when the baby came.
2012: No baby yet, so I applied to grad school, because I always heard you get pregnant when it’s most inconvenient to have a baby. What could be crazier than holding down two jobs and getting a graduate degree? This was definitely going to work…
2014: We now have two dogs,
I earned a masters in music, and….
still waiting.
We were diagnosed with infertility. The diagnosis meant that no matter how much money we were willing to spend or treatments we were willing to try there was no way we could make a baby together.
And yet we still wanted to be parents.
2016: We discovered the miracle of embryo adoption.
It’s a unique process that began because couples who have undergone fertility treatments often end up with more embryos than they can use. These embryos remain frozen in storage and are often called “snowflake babies”.
Our adoption agency matched us with a family at the end of last year and the embryos were transported to our clinic a few months ago. We get to experience the miracle of adoption AND the miracle of pregnancy…what could be better?
We are so close to becoming parents!
Close…but not yet.
I have been composing this post for months and waiting to hit publish until I had a happy ending to share.
And now I’m realizing that’s not what life is about.
Even though I would LOVE to fast forward to the happy ending!
God isn’t just here to handle the hard stuff or hand us the happy stuff.
He’s here for everything in between.
So I’m going to get comfortable with God and hand him everything.
My hopes, my dreams, and most importantly…
my timeline.
He’s got a plan for when this baby will come.
I will do my part and trust that He’s got this.
And whatever you’ve got going in your life? God’s got that too…
God IS blessing you, even in the waiting,
A Priest walks into a Harpist…
Sounds like the start of an awesome joke, right?
Even better, it’s a true story…
I was alone, driving a borrowed van, headed to retrieve my harp from school where everyone was already gone for spring break.
The place would be deserted.
This meant for the first time ever I would be faced with loading this massive harp all by myself.
Time to pray! “Ok God, let’s review:
~ I’ve never loaded the harp alone.
~ It weighs 96 pounds.
~ It is the most expensive thing I own.
The way I see it, we’ve got two options:
1. Help me do it on my own or
2. Provide someone who will help me load it…
(preferably a responsible adult).”
I got to the school, covered the harp, strapped it into its custom dolly, and started walking through the building, all without seeing another soul.
Just as I was nearing the door, a man came walking through the building and asked if he could hold the door for me. I accepted and then asked if he could walk me out to the van and help load it in. He graciously agreed and we accomplished the task without incident.
As I was thanking him, I realized he was one of the priests on campus! I smile now just thinking about how God answered my prayer for a responsible adult with a priest!
So glad I was specific, and so glad that God cares about EVERYTHING in our lives!
I created this meditation “My Hope is Built” with voice and harp is a great musical reminder of this!